WE ARE PREGNANT!
SURPRISE! We are having a BABY!
It feels incredibly surreal to be finally sharing our greatest blessing! We are going to be parents! Our sweet baby will be joining us mid-February 2022.. and we cannot wait.
It has been so hard to keep this a secret for our first trimester! This baby is already so deeply loved and we couldn’t wait to share.
HOW/WHEN WE FOUND OUT WE WERE PREGNANT
Back in early June, I woke up one day feeling so off. When trying to describe it to my friend, the only word I could come up with was tingly.. and nauseous.. But I thought there wasn’t a chance in the world. I ended up taking a pregnancy test that morning, and it said negative. It was still really early in my cycle, but I had just never had that feeling before. I was convinced that something was off, and so I decided to take another pregnancy test that afternoon that wasn’t just “yes” or “no”. And.. it said no. Kind of. I was CONVINCED there was two pink lines there – but my best friend disagreed and didn’t see it. Still convinced, I tried to wait until the following morning, but ended up taking a second that night – two lines (but faint) .. pregnant.
I wanted to be absolutely sure before I told Matthew, so I decided to wait until the next day to get a definitive “yes” on a test. The next morning, June 4th, there was the most clear yes, plus, pregnant, double lines I could ever hope for.
Matthew was at work, and so I had all day to plan how I would tell him – it had to be meaningful, right? I had never thought this far. Ultimately, I decided to leave a card on our counter for him to read the news. Whenever we have a special occasion, I usually buy the cards and ask him to sign them on the counter. Little did he know, this one was for him 🙂
FIRST TRIMESTER OF PREGNANCY
The first trimester has been the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to experience – physically and mentally. At about 6 weeks, the nausea began and I could hardly keep anything down. I lived off mac and cheese, bread, and ginger ale for weeks. Even the “taste” of water was enough to make me sick, and especially mint anything. I even had to switch to a kid’s strawberry toothpaste because the nausea was so bad. I was exhausted beyond belief, and would often wake up for about an hour or two, and go back to sleep until 2-3pm. Thankfully, I was on my summer break during this time, but I know not every new mom has this luxury, and my heart goes out to anyone who had a similar experience.
Mentally, I was just sad.
Here I was with this HUGE blessing, but I felt horrible.. I couldn’t function – couldn’t cook, couldn’t go anywhere, couldn’t clean, couldn’t move without getting sick.. and I had to fake that I was okay. I felt very lonely and distanced from people because I just couldn’t fake not being as sick as I was.
Thankfully, I continued to go to therapy during this time, and it really helped to be able to talk about those feelings. If you are struggling in any capacity, I highly recommend seeking out counseling.
Because I couldn’t keep anything down, I actually lost weight. Finally being able to see our baby on the ultrasound gave me so much peace, because everything was okay, even if I wasn’t. Eventually, I began to see a small bump, and it helped me feel like this was for something.
My doctor eventually prescribed me an anti-nausea medicine, because I was becoming pretty severely dehydrated and it worked wonders for me. I was actually able to eat, and keep things down.
The nausea still hasn’t fully dissipated, but I feel like a much more functioning human.
We are so thrilled to finally be able to share this news! Thank you for the grace you’ve given me as I’ve been a little bit distanced to process, recover, and grow this sweet babe. I’m excited to get back to sharing our world – I cannot tell you how great it feels to have it all out there!
Please know that our hearts truly go out to anyone struggling to conceive. I know that for every announcement, there are hearts that hurt so deeply. While we can’t even pretend to know the depths of that pain, please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you. The pain of wanting something so desperately is unbearable, and we want you to know that you’re seen and heard. We think and pray for you daily!
